Where to start? I guess by saying this year has been by far THE worst year of my life. What began with the best-laid intentions and grand ideas, ultimately has no power against life. January 2018 me was focused on a blog that was going to be weekly and regimented and pshh, easily maintainable! I was unsurprisingly wrong…
A weekly upload went off the rails pretty quick but hey hoe, alongside a degree, a foundation level CIPD course and trying to understand business; I guess I can allow myself a bit of slack. I think I bit off more than I can chew… But if you don’t push yourself, you won’t grow, and those that know me know I’m really short! I could use a bit of growth.
Alongside academic challenges came the pain of close familial illness and bereavement. I can’t begin to explain what an incredible man my grandad was and how large the hole is that has been left behind. He was a law unto himself, he was and is still is the most inspiring, kind and loving grandad. Our family was truly lucky for a man so special. All I can say is that everything that 2019 throws my way will be handled with his strength, tenacity and courage in mind. I know that Franky boy would want me to fulfil every single dream I have and to live a life that is full of adventure and joy. He always asked, ‘where next?’ to Lew and I, so that’s going to be my motto.
2018 has been a year of confusion, reflection and I guess semi-understanding (I still got a way to go), I am definitely not the same person I was last December. Last year I was putting into place an elaborate 3-year plan, become a homeowner, have the dream job, the dream doggo and all the trimmings. Safe to say nothing in my life (as of yet) goes to plan. At 23 its confusing (and oh-so cliché to say but…), you are bombarded with highlight reels of people’s lives. People your age seemingly with their sh*t together, career job and somehow married!? And then others (like myself), still trying to figure what on earth their dream career is and nowhere near a homeowner yet.
I struggled with this for a while, looking at what I thought was the ideal (Career, home & doggo) and then comparing to my own situation. I certainly learnt the hard way that the age-old saying ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ is 100% true. Now I’m teaching myself to GO WITH THE FLOW, sod a plan, sod my self-imposed ideals and sod doing anything other than what makes me happy. I mean I’m 23, not 53!
This blog post is as much to reiterate these thoughts to myself (I really do love a plan), as it is to share with others. I just felt that surely, I’m not the only one feeling the pressure of what seems like ‘the next step’ and maybe knowing you’re not the only one taking your time could be cathartic?
I am not saying 2018 has been all bad, I have made new friends and maintained friendships with some truly amazing people who mean the world to me, but this year has been the most challenging for my family and myself. However, if there has been one thing I have taken from this year is that who you surround yourself with makes all the difference, and I know that they will shape my 2019.
And as a product of this revelation, I have set myself some goals for 2019, but I’m seeing them as loose guidelines, definitely not something to obsess over…:
1. Stop swearing (so far, so good. NOT)
2. Eat less cheese, because by god is that stuff my crack!
3. Restart my blog, helloo world!
4. Travel as much as possible
And finally, drumroll please…
5. Stop obsessing the details and go with the flow.
Good luck with your New Year’s resolutions, be kind to yourselves! I hope everyone has had a happy 2018 and if not, I hope you are coping to the best of your ability (it’s going to be better someday), and there is always 2019.
Make it your bitch!
Much love and many well wishes!